You Have To

[HereWeGo69]

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and government creates prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S.
nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the
earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have
never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make
The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution,
while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American
history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison & A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it has been tried is
because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender
belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should

be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is
somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day
but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

22. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

[cajtex]

28 November 2003
Things you have to believe to be a Republican today

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

“Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

[HereWeGo69]

Thats just silly

[eaglesprings]

and I love 'em! ROTFL!

[himself]

Sigh.

For the record, if you'll google for "You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand", you find DOZENS of links providing verbatim content that should look extremely familiar to people here...

For example...

http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/gooddemocrat.html
http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/goodrepublican.html

So boys and girls, could we please contribute things that we've thought of all by ourselves rather than stealing other peoples ideas and passing them off as our own? That's just plain dishonest.

p.s. Cajtex -- I realize that you did attribute yours...

[LarkinJoanna]

I didn't read your links because I have my own ideas about capital punishment and abortion.

A person who is againsnt capital punishment but pro-abortion doesn't have a leg to stand on as far as an argument.

Then there are those who are against capital punishment and against abortion. They have a supportable argument.

Then there are those who may not particularly care for capital punishment but see that it is justifiable in certain cases and they are against most cases of abortion. They do have a supportable argument also because in one case the person is an innocent victim and it can be considered a murder. In the other case it's not murder because murder is considered taking the life of someone who is innocent.

[Sonchyenne]

So a man with a gun does a drive-by and kills 5 people. Are those people then put on trial and those declared innocent are considered murdered? Think on that one again, JoAnna!

[eaglesprings]

I think both posts (whether copied or not) are meant as irony. Thought provoking, yes, but we should take them for what they are: irony.

Speaking only for myself, it drives me nuts when someone finds out I believe one way about a certain issue, and just assumes I believe another way about every other issue out there. I blame politicians for this!

[HereWeGo69]

could we please contribute things that we've thought of all by ourselves rather than stealing other peoples ideas and passing them off as our own? That's just plain dishonest.


Hmm, I thought it was pretty obvious, that this was one of those e-mails that go around, certainly wasn't trying to pass it off as my own, but then I think you knew that and just wanted to be condescending for a change.

[LarkinJoanna]

I think you misread my post or maybe I wasn't clear enough on my last paragraph. The victims of abortion are not guilty of anything. The person who is has been convicted of a crime and is given the death penalty is not a victim. His capital punishment can be considered justifiable. In other words his death by capital punishment in not murder.

[LarkinJoanna]

So true. And I agree with you about both posts being irony.

[Wilson]

Condescending? C'mon... is it really so hard to post a link or a little blurb about where the info came from?

[HereWeGo69]

So boys and girls, could we

Yup, condescending, I didn't stutter did I?

[Wilson]

Nope... I've never heard you stutter. Got me there.

[himself]

HereWeGo69: I certainly didn't mean to be condescending -- if it came across that way then I apologize. I truthfully DID mean to scold -- I just don't feel that it's proper to quote someone without acknowledgment.

LarkinJohanna: "A person who is against capital punishment but pro-abortion doesn't have a leg to stand on as far as an argument."

Please help me understand why you think this?

Let's suppose that I'm not a christian and don't believe in the concept of a soul. Further let's suppose that I find the notion that a collection of a few thousand cells possessing an eye-spot, gills and a tail (1st trimester fetus) constitutes a human being to be absurd. And also let's suppose that to me the trillion cells that make up the self-aware reasoning being that is the mother are infinitely more important and more deserving of protection under the law than the fetus is.

Then why would there be a problem with me holding the viewpoint that a woman should be able to decide to have a 1st trimester abortion if she wants, while at the same time believing that it is profoundly wrong for the state to be executing people (given that we know full well that there are OFTEN mistakes made in the conviction process)?

[LarkinJoanna]

That may be true for you but for a Christian or a Scripture/Old Testament believing Jew. They have a supportable argument that capital punishment is justiiable but abortion is wrong. Justifiable capital punishment is not murder but abortion can be considered murder. The two stances are not inconsistent with each other. Then there are also Christians who believe that taking of all life is wrong. There would be a supportable argument for that stance also from a Christian/Jew standpoint. There is not a supportable argument that capital punishment is wrong and abortion is okay from a Christian / Jew standpoint. Plus, you don't even need to be Christian/Jew to see the incosistencies of capital punishment being wrong but abortion being okay. I've know doctors who aren't Christians who believe abortion is wrong and capital punishment is okay.

[eaglesprings]

Heaven forbid that a person's views on these subjects ever "define" their faith. Heaven forbid that a person is judged based on their views by us mere humans, that we would ever say, "That person can't be a Christian because they believe "this" about abortion."

Well, it does happen. I've heard people claim a person cannot possibly be a Christian because they aren't "fully pro-life."

It's a difficult issue, with lots of "ifs" involved. Just as capital punishment is a difficult issue. To say a person's views on either subject define their faith is a little ludicrous, in my opinion.

I'm not even going to state my own views here. The articles first posted were irony! Meant to be thought provoking, yet humorous, too. Ya'll are all getting your panties in a wad!

[LarkinJoanna]

The only point is that it is not inconsistent to believe capital punishment is justifiable and abortion is wrong. It's wrong for others to try to incriminate people who think thus. This does not have to do necessarily with one's faith. There are those who believe capital punishment is okay and abortion is wrong who are in the scientific community who don't have any kind of Christian faith or otherwise. It's wrong for a poster to interject that into his/her post to imply that it's Christians/Jews only who believe thus. Also, no one is saying a person is judging all Christians by that anyway. It's just that Christians/Jews who do believe that have reason for doing so based on scripture.

[himself]

LarkinJoanna: I understand. And I was just trying to suggest that someone might have what seems to him/her to be just as valid a world-view or belief system as someone else's and yet not see any contradiction in being anti-capital punishment and pro-choice at the same time.

[eaglesprings]

But, there is a lot "wrong" with both of those lists!

It's irony! Meant to be funny. Thought provoking, but funny! While there is some truth in humor, humor doesn't tell the whole truth. It can't. People, and life, are too complex to be put in such a box.

[HereWeGo69]

I just don't feel that it's proper to quote someone without acknowledgment.


I don't know who wrote it, like I said, it was just one of those e-mails going around, but if it makes you happy, Bill sent it to me :D

and it has produced one of the longer threads on here :cool:

[LarkinJoanna]

Who's Bill :confused:?

[HereWeGo69]

I can't give everything away, some people are just never satisfied

[FamilyGal]

Nope... I've never heard you stutter. Got me there.

Snicker, snicker :rolleyes: